


the stranded fish are not indifferent

by hoelistic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, Existential Crisis, Existentialism, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Sex, Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), M/M, Persephone Goes Willingly With Hades (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Strangers to Lovers, square: reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoelistic/pseuds/hoelistic
Summary: Dear Mark,You might have not received my first letter, which is something I had already expected. I’ve been told by Sungchan that it is difficult for you to receive letters because any trace of life makes untethered spirits remember their loss and attempt to stay in the plane between life and death.Perhaps if one day you receive and read my first letter, please ignore its contents. It was too presumptuous of me to believe that our encounter in the overworld made you as fond of me as I am of you.But please accept this seedling as a token of my affection and gratitude for reading this one.Sincerely,DonghyuckMark receives a letter from a lonely god of vegetation.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 40
Kudos: 266
Collections: Kingdom Come Round One, THE COLLECTION





	the stranded fish are not indifferent

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to the mod for letting me join this fest despite my schedule and having to drop out then having the courage to try again— COVID19, like all of us, derailed my schedule and plans for 2020 and 2021 still, and honestly I still have issues finding the time to write. But here I am trying!
> 
> edit: okay i'm finally able to share that this fic was inspired by [Chuang 2020 Outlier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7EZ0Y7lTwA)  
> . i also forgot to change the comment section T__T

The sky can’t be seen here, but all Mark can assume is that the sky is a bright blue slightly bruised with pinks and purples. The underworld has always been a dark place where the only things considered necessary are the flickering lights used to guide traveling souls down the River Styx.

There are times where the bubbling noises coming from the river aren’t from the fish leaping, but rather lost souls conversing for the last time, afraid of what’s next to come after death.

Mark always finds himself whispering to them not to fret, for there is nothing for them to fear. Once they’ve journeyed the plane between death and rebirth, nothing can harm their souls anymore.

Once he cradled the soul of a ten-year-old child. Jisung, the wind reminds Mark of the little boy’s name. He had died too young and scared of everything here, but Mark couldn’t find it within himself to blame the little soul. The underworld is so bleak and lifeless, not even weeds manage to thrive for the earth is too brittle to sustain new life.

Jisung ends up winding down a familiar path.

 _Rebirth_.

In the next lifetime, Mark promises him a life full of love and happiness. When Jisung is nine, he will meet his soulmate and die old with him together. It’s a mundane life, no chance of finding fame or becoming someone that would be remembered for the rest of the time, but a life Mark is certain will be full of utmost happiness. There shouldn’t be a fixation on finding a grand purpose; instead, humans should focus on the beauty that comes with living.

Mark lets his fingers run along the grey river, waiting to see if another spirit has lost its way; it’s not a common occurrence, but Mark wants to be certain he doesn’t let any lost souls pass by underneath his vigilance.

At first, Mark thinks he’s imagining it, the letter that comes dancing along with the currents into the underworld. He rarely receives anything at all, and even the sound of his name causes Mark to flinch; it’s become unfamiliar to him, despite it being one his mother has lovingly given him so many years ago.

Spirits threaten to take the glass encapsulated letter, but Mark commands them away— it’s not something meant for them. 

Mortals can’t send letters into the underworld for it’s not a place meant for them to live, so it can’t be from one of them. Humans have always been fixated on flying, and even the most forgiving of curses have turned them into birds so they could experience true freedom.

So it could only be from a fellow god because even monsters don’t dare tread here for fear that Mark will cut their life string short.

A passing spirit tickles Mark’s shoulder as he pulls out the letter.

> Dear Mark,
> 
> Hello, I apologize if I sound too formal with my greeting, but I don’t know any other way to call you considering that we’ve only ever met once. I am Donghyuck, the god of vegetation, but you and I both know that my powers and dominion will never compare to that of yours.
> 
> I remember asking you during one of my mother’s festivities, whether you felt lonely in the underworld. You told me then that you’ve been kept company by the souls that were too stubborn to choose to live again — but yet, you told me that all they needed was a little more reassurance that the next life would prove more fruitful. That you believed in them and that their fate is one full of happiness.
> 
> Because of that, I was left wondering if there is space in your heart to believe in me. I’ve found myself afflicted by loneliness these days. Witch weather, humans call it. I do not think they believe in me anymore as they’ve come closer to developing methods of cultivation that make my powers null. 
> 
> I’m unsure if I’m someone still fit to be a god if humans don’t need me anymore. Have you’ve ever experienced that way before? You don’t need to worry about replying right away. I understand that you are someone who’s full-heartedly devoted to your work and I wouldn’t want to distract you. 
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Donghyuck

It’s the first time Mark has ever received something like this. 

He doesn’t expect this letter to be given by a stranger either. He had only ever met Donghyuck once when he was invited by Sicheng to come to the overworld and enjoy the seasonal festivities. 

Mark had to admit he found Donghyuck magical, ethereal even.

The most beautiful of the gods, even rivaling the beauty of Taeyong himself.

Soft brown hair and eyes that reminded him of the strong earth needed to allow for flowers to continue every year, even after all of the harshnesses of autumn and winter forced them away. Even his skin is cast in gold with what appeared to be tens and tens of constellations that moved underneath the sunlight.

He doesn’t respond.

Birds don’t deserve being trapped here.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Mark remembers the first time he met Donghyuck.

It was months ago, during one of his mother’s festivities. A spring festival full of quick hellos and goodbyes, Mark remembers glumly.

Being the god of the underworld meant that his traveling was limited, for death was something he could not escape. Traveling souls were abundant, always talking to each other and always asking Mark the same question. _Where will I be going now_? 

Because the gods allowed for free will believing that it would make their jobs governing the world more amusing, humans had sadly developed a fear of death, for only Mark knew the answer to the unknown. Not even his brothers possessed an inking as to how the cycle of death functioned, eyes always focusing on the beginning.

The worst part of his job is also the most beautiful one and the only reason why Mark finds attending the annual meetings with the rest of the gods tedious.

They always complain about trivial things like humans not performing a worshipping ceremony correctly or whoever Johnny decided to make his lover that fleeting season, carrying with him the bittersweet scent of summer; it keeps circulating until Johnny finds himself bored.

Mark wonders if his older brother will ever find a love that makes him long for a tenderness he would never want to share with the rest of the world, but his thoughts are cut short by the traveling souls he cares for.

As the last light of their souls flickers in the mist, down the River Styx, Mark holds their hands with so many promises. 

_It’s okay to let go now. You’re so tired and you’ve traveled such a long way here. You don’t have to try anymore. Where you’re going now is so much better than where you’ve been. You’ve been given a second chance, and this time I promise you all will be what you’ve always wanted_. 

These are all words Mark stands by. Why he hates wasting his time with gods that don’t care about the humans they’ve been tasked to guide and teach how to love everything, from the singing of mockingbirds to the strength that grows in silence, love.

Donghyuck seemed different—although Mark supposes it’s because they’ve only ever spoken to each other once.

Donghyuck had come from behind the groves of trees in his mother’s garden, erupting star lilies where ever he passe.

A god of spring, of life. In charge of tending to every flower that dared to bloom on the tender earth, Mark ripped souls from and sent them into an abyss where courage refuses to embrace the light.

Unlike the rest of the gods, even Johnny and Jaehyun, his two older brothers, Donghyuck was the only one who dared approach Mark during their annual meeting—or whatever festivity Donghyuck’s mother deemed important to celebrate her vanity that she was the most loved god of all. Humans always needed to eat, so there wasn’t one second where she wasn’t venerated.

“You’ve arrived!” Donghyuck cheered, running up to Mark with red roses in hand. He offers one to Mark, who’s simply left a little flustered by the offering.

Not once had he been offered a gift since he became the king of the underworld. Death was something, not even the gods wanted to be associated with for fear that they would be abandoned by the humans they wanted to adore them to the end of time.

Even when this was just a pleasantry, Mark wavers for a bit and takes a couple of seconds to finally accept the flower.

“Thank you,” he responds and holds the red rose with care; being the god of death meant that flowers could easily wither in his hands, but just as easily be reborn as well. It would need more effort on his part, but it seems rude to allow Donghyuck’s welcoming gift to die so easily.

“Do you like it?” Mark nods and Donghyuck beams, causing the rose to bloom again. “Sorry about that. My powers have been a bit weird these days. It’s not supposed to blossom these many times.”

“I don’t mind. I’m rarely able to see any flowers without them withering away, so I’m really happy I’m able to hold this one.”

“Have you never seen a flower before?”

Mark lightly chuckles. “No, I have before I was given dominion of the underworld. Back then I was able to freely touch them, but not anymore. At the very least, not with some extra effort on my part.”

“Do you feel isolated because of that?” Donghyuck starts, handing Mark another rose from his bouquet. “Do you feel like you should be able to enjoy more fruit from the festivities like the rest of us?”

Mark ponders for a bit. Donghyuck must have been told that he had been cheated out of being the lord of the sea and sky, an omnipotent being unable to enjoy all of his powers and reverence because his existence has been and will now always be conflated with death.

“Not at all—well at first I was angry with my brothers that I have been given what seemed at the time, the short end of the stick. It was rare that any of the gods wanted to associate with me for fear that their humans would turn back on them and no longer revere them—”

“And knowing how gods depend on being loved, they let you become an isolated fish,” Donghyuck finishes for him.

“Yeah, but I think I wouldn’t have it any other way now,” Mark confesses. “I’m very happy knowing that if I could give peace to a lost soul, I’ve found something meaningful about my job as a god.”

Pause. Donghyuck pauses for a moment and it’s silent until his smile breaks it. “After hearing you speak so highly of it, I wonder if one day I’ll be able to see the underworld you’ve come to love so much these past centuries.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s been a couple of weeks since Mark’s received Donghyuck’s letter and the sky has transformed into a replica of what Mark thinks it looks like above. Interestingly enough, Donghyuck made Mark long for dreamy white clouds and bright golden suns.

He doesn’t change the scenery here too much, not wanting to distract and make the traveling souls miss their past lives too much. 

During his early years of adapting, Mark had allowed the underworld to become beautiful. He used to be able to avoid his powers to plant gardens and paint a pink and blue sky with bright white clouds.

But the things that Donghyuck creates, plants and life, have always been too beautiful for souls to forget. They became too anxious, and Mark had to learn how to forget cultivating plants and creating a life here so that they could move away from the plane between life and death.

Mark gets on his boat and detaches it from the small dock he’s built, albeit it’s something he built for Cerberus’ sake. The three-headed dog loved waiting for Mark there when he came back from finding souls that have lost their way and sending them to their new home.

He travels down the River Styx, listening to the chatty lost souls. He’s always amazed by how much they talk to each other, asking what they did before dying. _What’s your name? What did you do?_ And Mark’s favorite: _What did you enjoy the most about living?_

Even when two souls were similar in every circumstance Mark could think of, they’ve never given the same response. A phenomenon Mark thinks that not even the gods can replicate. Each human is just unique in their perspective of life and nothing could ever come close.

His favorite answer remains one from a fallen soldier named Taeil. Maple leaves, he said. He loved them because it meant that he was back home with his family. 

Along the river, Mark spots a glass bottle and he’s met with another letter.

> Dear Mark,
> 
> You might have not received my first letter, which is something I had already expected. I’ve been told by Sungchan that it is difficult for you to receive letters because any trace of life makes untethered spirits remember their loss and attempt to stay in the plane between life and death.
> 
> Perhaps if one day you receive and read my first letter, please ignore its contents. It was too presumptuous of me to believe that our encounter in the overworld made you as fond of me as I am of you.
> 
> But please accept this seedling as a token of my affection and gratitude for reading this one.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Donghyuck

It’s a sunflower seed.

Mark remembers Donghyuck telling him that his most favorite flower of them all are sunflowers, unlike the roses, he gifted everyone else during the festivities.

Sunflowers are stronger, Mark recollects Donghyuck saying. They always work to be loved by the sun.

Donghyuck was being sincere about wanting to visit Mark.

So he writes with the piece of parchment and ink he never believed he would use.

A gift from one of the heroes that had come to save their lover.

Old parchment made of foiled leaves of gold Mark wasn’t particularly impressed by—Mark had only permitted the hero to take their lover because there have only been so few souls that begged for their loved ones to come back. He’s always left wondering how big their love was, so he always lets them go. 

Rare the scenario where their love faded with the autumn leaves and now Mark ponders if he’s able to give a letter that can come near any the strong pleas he’s been given.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

> Dear Donghyuck,
> 
> I’m sorry I never responded to your first letter. I didn’t realize that it would hurt you that I didn’t respond as quickly as you desired. I did not mean to ignore you, I was left rather shocked by how much respect you hold for me.
> 
> To make it up to you, I would like to talk to you more about your concerns in person. There is only so much I can convey through words and perhaps I would be able to give some comfort to you?
> 
> Best,
> 
> Mark

━━━━━━━━━━━━

There’s the only sentence Mark notices when he reads Donghyuck’s reply.

> If it’s possible, can I come and see you instead?

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“It’s beautiful here,” Donghyuck comments as he boards Mark’s boat. 

The spring god peers around the entire vicinity of the underworld’s entrance, a small cave that humans never venture to because there’s nothing of worth here other than the clean spring water that spills here. He lets his fingers run along with the gentle current and smiles. “I’ve always been told stories about the underworld, but no one seems to be true. This is certainly a marvelous place.”

“You’re flattering me too much,” Mark replies with a small smile. “You can be honest with me. You don’t have to lie about this place being beautiful.”

“But it is!” Donghyuck energetically insists, his cherub cheeks becoming lightly dusted with pink. “It’s wonderful here. All of the traveling souls look like little paper lanterns traveling during the moon festivals my mother would always tell me about when I was younger.”

“Did you have a childhood?” Mark inquires. 

A rare gift. Not many gods experienced childhood, for it was something considered too pure to be given to a god. Humans were allowed to have childhoods because their life was limited in nature—every stage of life was given to them. Gods, however, had centuries and millennium to enjoy, so adulthood was given to them.

Time never runs out for them, so what was there for them to miss?

Donghyuck hums. “For only a moment and my mother was very happy to raise me for as long as she could.”

“Do you remember much about it?”

“Only very little. There are things I could wish to see again for the first time.”

“Like what?”

“Winter.”

“Winter? Aren’t you the god of spring? Shouldn’t you be saying like seeing flowers bloom again?” Mark inquires, although based on Donghyuck frowning in his direction, it wasn’t a good question. “Sorry, I’m just confused. I didn’t think you would like the winter.”

Donghyuck laughs, “It’s okay. I’m certain everyone thinks the answer is spring too.”

He looks down at all the traveling souls, listening to whatever banter they had. “I like winter because it’s something I’m not able to create. I’m the god of vegetation and everything that has to do with spring and harvests, but I’m physically unable to create anything that takes away from it. Even during fall, my powers begin to weaken and I’m unable to go outside. That’s why the first snow is such a precious memory to me.”

“That’s beautiful,” Mark stammers out without thinking, making Donghyuck blush again. “I mean…um…”

Donghyuck giggles. “Thank you. Is there anything you want to show me here?”

“You’re referring to Cerberus aren’t you?” He sighs.

“You bet I am!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I swear to the gods I hate you,” Mark mutters as Cerberus plays with Donghyuck. “I can’t believe that after all of these centuries together, you would have the heart to replace me so quickly. Even after I’ve given you everything you’ve ever asked for.”

Mark huffs.

“Don’t be so grumpy,” Donghyuck sticks out his tongue. “He’s allowed to have favorites and you’re just jealous Cerberus chose me over you. As he _should_.” He emphasizes, chastising Mark with his pointer finger.

“Fine. Then I won’t be giving him a treat after dinner.” Mark crosses his arms.

Cerberus whimpers and Donghyuck begins whining about treating them both.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Have you ever swam in the River Styx?” Donghyuck lets out his question, looking over the stream of traveling souls flicker and darken with each soul finding its way to the next life.

“I’ve never thought about it,” Mark truthfully confesses. Not once since he’s been tasked with caring for everything related to the underworld, had he ever once considered taking a swim in the River Styx. 

“Well, there’s always a first for everything!” Donghyuck pulls Mark in with him, water splashing everywhere and souls becoming a bit agitated by the flow of everything is disrupted. 

Mark frowns with the realization so many souls were beginning to latch on to him, even the stragglers that were waiting for their loved ones to join them in the afterlife were coming to him and asking so many questions.

Laughter fills the air as Donghyuck realizes what he’s done, and he starts splashing Mark with more water—as if to challenge Mark to fight back.

So Mark does, drenching Donghyuck even more with the vapid grey water until all the younger god’s hair is matted.

“Fine. You win.” Donghyuck gives in and he swims back to shore. “I never would have pegged you for someone petty.”

He sticks out his tongue, but it doesn’t phase Mark at all. 

Mark simply laughs and splashes Donghyuck with water again. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Donghyuck is golden like the sun— even more than Yukhei himself, and the rest of the celestial beings tied to the giant star that motivates the entire universe to keep moving.

But, what captures Mark’s attention about Donghyuck, are the moments of golden silence that come with him. Mark half-expects Donghyuck to be brash and loud like the rest of their fellow gods, but he comes with the realization he didn’t give Donghyuck enough credit.

Mark notices there are times of the day where Donghyuck revels in his thoughts and it takes him tapping the younger god to bring him back from those daydreams that take a stronghold on him.

To Mark, it seems that Donghyuck is grateful he’s lured away from what he’s thinking.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Dawn comes again and Donghyuck is still here. Mark thought that perhaps planting a willow tree would satisfy Donghyuck’s curiosity of the underworld, but it doesn’t seem to be the case at all.

Donghyuck hasn’t shown any sign of wanting to return to the surface, nor has he mentioned any of the contents of his letter either. 

For a small and very brief moment, Mark thought that perhaps Donghyuck lied to him so he could find an excuse to come down here and make fun of him; it wouldn’t have been the first time this type of incident happened—there’s been far too many for Mark to keep recollection of each time.

But with Donghyuck’s large eyes gleaming at everything Mark tells him about the underworld, from how the reborn souls are chosen to what happens to the lost ones, his interest seems genuine; Donghyuck is indeed in search of his meaning as a god.

Mark admits to seeing how humans have become more and more independent with each passing year. 

Some have even started developing methods of flying, a gift that only the gods have been able to grant by turning them into birds. 

Even Mark himself has come to worry at times whether he’s still needed in this world. Humans are living longer and with a longer life, there’s less of a chance they didn’t enjoy everything that comes with living.

From experiencing love to experiencing anger for the first time. Every little thing that the gods would consider mundane is a precious memory to those whose time on earth is limited. 

One would think that it's strange that a god of death would find so many wonderful things to say about life—but it's because Mark is always attentively listening to each soul’s story, he sees the beauty in everything they've experienced.

Perhaps that's why Donghyuck finds himself here with Mark, weaving together threads of gold to find more souls that have lost their way here? 

To find out what makes their creation special. 

Unlike humans who are allowed to create their destinies and defy the obstacles that they are given by fickle monsters and gods, Mark and Donghyuck are not allotted the same opportunity. They remain stagnant like rocks on the road, waiting for an outside force to put their bodies in motion.

If Mark ever decided to leave the underworld, who else would care for the influx of souls that died every day and needed to look for a new home? 

He doesn't think that there's another god with enough love in their heart to care for them. His brothers care too little for anyone else and the other gods are already too busy guiding humans when they're living to help them during the last step.

Donghyuck must be haunted by the thought that he's no longer needed. The other gods might not care, more time for them to doze around in lazy daydreams. But it seems that Donghyuck as much for his humans as Mark did for the traveling souls in the babbling River Styx. Too much for him to not care that he’s not needed like he used to be.

"Donghyuck?"

"Hmm?"

"I—never mind. I just want you to know if you need anything from me, please let me know."

Donghyuck gives him a wry smile. "Thank you."

Courage doesn’t grow in silence. Nothing ever good comes from it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Do you have anything to eat?" Donghyuck asks, making Mark gape. "What? Did I make you think I'm human with my question?" He teases and Mark frowns.

"No. I just think it's weird you're hungry. That's all."

Most gods didn't indulge in eating when they were hungry—mostly boredom or to emphasize how much wealth the lands they commanded possessed. But then again, Donghyuck did experience a childhood, so ingrained in his body might be the lingering memory of experiencing hunger.

Donghyuck looks back at him and gazes over the stream. "It's not that I'm hungry," he starts. "I just wonder if perhaps I figure out what humans love so much about the lives we've given them, maybe I'll find out something."

"I see." Mark doesn't say more. He doesn't want to push Donghyuck into revealing something he doesn't want to share with him yet. "Then there is one thing you're able to eat here."

"Is it the fish living in the River Styx?" Donghyuck lifts an eyebrow.

"No!" Mark immediately yells back. "No. Please no. They'll tear an arm off of you."

"Well it could always grow back," Donghyuck points out.

"You're not wrong, but you're also not right about what you can eat." 

Donghyuck sticks out his tongue and crosses his arms.

Mark makes a pomegranate appear out of his hands, a deep crimson red fruit from the other side of his realm. "This is the only fruit I'm able to plant and raise here. But I can't let you have this now that I think about it."

"Why not?"

"Because you have to go back home Donghyuck," Mark breathes out. "You can't stay here forever. You're needed. They need you."

"No, they don't," Donghyuck seethes back. "You don't understand anything Mark. You haven't been up there in years because you've been down here and you never want to—" Shocked by what he was saying, Donghyuck immediately shuts himself up. "Mark I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"I know Donghyuck. I know. But you need to go back up and return home. Your mother probably misses you and who else can guide this year's harvest but you?" Mark gently places the pomegranate in Donghyuck's hands and closes them. "You have no idea how important you are to them."

"Am I important to you?" is what comes out of Donghyuck's mouth, so quiet that the babbling souls almost deafen his question.

Mark wants to say yes.

Donghyuck being here has made him feel happier, not that he wasn't before. 

He doesn't know how to describe the affection he feels towards the younger god, but he knows that he's not allowed to feel this way. 

Johnny had always told Mark he couldn't interfere in the dominion of other gods, and meddle more in the lives of humans than he already does— giving more opportunities at rebirth that anyone else agrees with. 

If he says yes, then Donghyuck will stay and there will be no one left to care for the harvests, inciting more famine than humans need to suffer from. 

Instead, he tells Donghyuck, no, with the hope that Donghyuck understands that Mark doesn't want him to go either.

Nothing ever goes Mark’s way and the younger god begins crying. 

He’s always heard that the universe would make him pay forever making a pure soul cry, but there’s no need. Mark can already hear his heartbreak with each step Donghyuck takes to leave this place.

Before Donghyuck leaves, he looks back and faces Mark. He comes closer, opening his arms and fully circling them around Mark.

"Thank you for letting me come here," he says in Mark's ear. "I know I've intruded too much and more than I should have been permitted, but thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Mark wishes Donghyuck could stay and he wants to hold Donghyuck tighter, but it's for the best. 

Donghyuck needs to go. 

If he doesn’t go back home, Donghyuck might become hated by the humans he loves too much. The rest of the gods will never care about their reputation unless it concerns the scheduling of festivals in their honor.

But Donghyuck cares too much. 

He's left himself to being vulnerable— vulnerable enough for any slander to heart him too deeply and make him sick.

It is best for everyone's sake that Donghyuck leaves.

That’s what Mark keeps telling himself.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

"You miss him don't you?" Johnny asks the first time he's come down to visit Mark in years. "You miss Donghyuck."

"Don't mock me," Mark immediately replies. "I'm not in the mood to entertain you now."

"You're making the souls anxious Mark. You need to learn to control your emotions."

Mark bitterly laughs. "That's hilarious coming from you. You've meddled in the lives of far too many souls to tell me that."

"That's why I'm telling you to stop," Johnny says handing him a letter. "You've always been more kind-hearted than me. You need to remember what you love more. Your compassion for the souls here or Donghyuck. You can't let his fears take over all of your judgment. You have a duty to guiding all of the souls that need to be reborn."

"That's why I let him go. I know my priority lies here and not in matters of love."

"That's not what I'm saying my younger brother. That’s also a dangerous thought you should not let cloud your judgment. You should read this before you start making more rash decisions."

"You're telling me I shouldn't have let Donghyuck go?"

"I'm telling you you should start finding a balance between happiness and your responsibilities.” With that, Johnny leaves.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Donghyuck comes back, with a bouquet of sunflowers in hand. 

They're a bright ochre color, but nowhere near as radiant as their owner. They don't talk about the contents of Donghyuck's third letter. 

There's no need for them to—at least not now. There's time for that later. Right now, Mark wants to make Donghyuck happy in whatever way he can. 

“Welcome back.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Mark realizes that he can't offer Donghyuck much, unlike the rest of the gods. 

Nothing can grow here other than the little tree Donghyuck planted, and even then, everything beautiful might have to be grown by Donghyuck himself.

“You seem tense. Why?”

“I don’t know why you came back Donghyuck. There’s nothing here but souls.”

Donghyuck presses a chaste kiss on Mark’s lips, leaving him slightly surprised. “But you’re here too. Sometimes I worry that you still don’t understand what I mean by what I wrote to you in my letter.”

“The world wouldn’t let us be together,” Mark replies. “You and I both know that.”

“Don’t say that. The world can’t easily collapse. All of the gods work together to keep balance, and even if I were to leave for a moment in time, it wouldn’t disappear. It’s not that easy. Even humans love the earth too much for it to crumble without my presence.”

 _But then why are you so worried about what the world thinks about you then?_ Mark wants to ask Donghyuck, why Donghyuck believes in the resilience of humans and the gods. _Why doesn’t he extend this belief in himself? Why does Donghyuck think the world can last without him?_

And it’s still too soon to ask. Far too soon to let the little bird that’s found its way here. It’s wounded, far too wounded to prod it.

So with that, Mark lets go of that thought again. 

It’s foolish of him to avoid the subject matter, but Mark knows that it would hurt Donghyuck more if he doesn’t ask the right way. 

Mark still hasn’t found the words he needs to ask Donghyuck why he feels that the world no longer needs him. And he’s not sure if he ever will. He loves Donghyuck too much to risk hurting him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

The evening sky is still a couple of shades shy away from becoming black, and the white stars are beginning to scatter and beam ever so softly to sparsely spread light. 

The moon isn’t quite up yet— a couple of moments from completely becoming visible to the human eye. Mark would have found the slow transition from the evening once flecked with soft purple to a much richer violet hue captivatingly beautiful and precious had it not been for Donghyuck standing next to him.

They’ve briefly left the underworld so that Donghyuck could show Mark something. 

He kept insisting that Mark needed to see this, and Mark lets Donghyuck drag him above. 

Not too long, Mark insists, but just enough time for Donghyuck to revel in whatever he deemed beautiful and precious enough to share with Mark. 

“We’re here!” Donghyuck proudly exclaims. 

In front of them is a large field of white sunflowers that expanded for miles and miles, with no end in sight.

Mark crouches down, observing the smallest stalks. The sunflowers looked like little moons, with a small black eclipse at their center. They were beautiful and nothing like he had ever seen before, even before living in the underworld.

“I didn’t know that sunflowers were white as well.”

“It’s hard raising them,” Donghyuck answers, leaning his head against Mark’s shoulder, cutting one of the sunflowers and flicking away each of its white petals. “I’ve always wondered if there was a way to make them love the moon too.”

“You wanted to convince them to love the moon?”

Donghyuck nods. “Because the moon seems lonely too.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“What are you holding?” Mark asks, eyes landing on the letter in Donghyuck’s hands.

“A letter.”

“A letter?”

“A letter from my mother. She’s asking me when I will be returning home,” he confesses. “She says that the humans above need me, that she needs me there.”

“Do you want to return?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I feel like they don’t have any need for me anymore,” he begins. “Over the years, I feel like my place as a god has become obsolete. Humans have become more and more independent, and with time, they will no longer need miracles to conduct a successful harvest. They’ve developed tools that allow them to cultivate crops all year round.”

“ _Hyuck_ ,” Mark starts, reaching out to hold Donghyuck’s hands, gently rubbing them. “You’re not obsolete. You’ve made people very happy with your existence. You’re still needed, even if it doesn’t. Seem like that now.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Donghyuck sniffles. He takes his hands away, walking towards the small river of traveling souls. He lets his fingers run across it, waving off those letting go of what they’ve once known for their new future. His shoulders are sunken, relaying a sense of failure Mark doesn’t think Donghyuck needs to feel.

“Come with me,” Mark says, pulling Donghyuck with him. “I have something to show you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“A tree?” Donghyuck comments, the river still riveting and souls becoming anxious with Donghyuck. 

Even with death and almost no traces of humanity left, empathy has always found a way to stay. A trait Mark has always found beautiful and one that makes humans better than their creators. They can love and give so much to it, even to immortal beings.

“It’s the only thing other than the pomegranate trees that I’ve been caring for to thrive here,” Mark reveals. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen anything have the courage to grow here, not even with all the happy souls that have been satisfied with their lives than come and go, nothing has been able to take root. You, Donghyuck, have created something very beautiful. You still can. You make so many people happy with your presence, that even when humans have developed their methods of cultivation, they still need you.

“They don’t always need you in a physical sense, the way that we’ve grown to become accustomed to hearing their wishes. Now we’ve entered a phase where humans seek inspiration for inventions that met their needs—both physical and emotional,” Mark lets out going forward and beginning to hold Donghyuck’s hands again.

“They still need you. If you hadn’t noticed, they’ve found out about your little sunflower garden and have begun to find ways to replicate your work. It hasn’t been working, they think you’ve achieved their ethereal beauty with paint, but they’re getting there. And even if you don’t think you’re needed you’re wrong. I need you. And so much. Much more than I would have ever imagined needing anyone before.”

Donghyuck doesn’t cry when Mark finishes. He doesn’t.

Instead, he smiles as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he looks happy.

Freer that before, like the little birds they’ve turned humans into the past—not to punish them, but to give them true freedom away from the cruelty of living in a rigid civilization.

For the first time, Mark thinks that the smile he’s given is the most genuine one of all.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sunlight tickles Mark’s eyelids, motioning him to wake up. He’s not used to feeling warmth in the morning, his body already accustomed to the gloomy coldness of the underworld. 

On his chest was Donghyuck, who let out small snores, stirring in his dreams with a smile on his face. They lied in a tangle of limbs from last night and Mark’s hair is a little wet and his bed is warm too. 

“Good morning, darling,” Donghyuck says, and he knows that Mark is still getting used to the endearment by the way the latter instantly turns pink. “Aw, you’re blushing like cherry blossoms during spring.”

He cups Mark’s cheeks and presses a quick peck on his nose.

“Morning,” Mark finally says back.

“It’s nice to hear your voice first thing in the morning.” Donghyuck smiles.

“I thought you would have preferred the little mockingbirds. I heard from the traveling souls they have the most beautiful voice of all.”

“They do,” Donghyuck admits. “But you make me happy. And so much happier than all of their songs.”

“Does that mean you still want to stay? Here, with me.” He finally adds.

“I could,” Donghyuck answers.

“Is that what you want?” Mark repeats. “You still haven’t eaten anything from here. You still have a chance to go back home.” Above, Mark doesn’t say but it doesn’t go unheard either.

“Hmm…” Donghyuck begins, still drowsy from last night. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“You want to stay here,” Boa says, disappointment clear in her gentle voice, but not enough to make Donghyuck feel bad about his choice.

“I do,” Donghyuck confesses.

“You seem more relaxed here,” Boa says, “While we are immortal beings, it doesn’t negate the fact that these years of living makes us tired and yearning for something that gives us meaning. Especially now that humans have grown increasingly independent of us. Some gods have already disappeared, for there was no reason for their existence anymore.”

She pauses, sending a small smile towards Mark’s direction, “Although I suppose that your job is one that is never-ending and from a distance, seen as one that is lonely, a fish in isolation swimming at the end of the lake while the rest travel with each other. I’ve found myself gravely mistaken.”

Donghyuck’s eyes start glistening, and some of the traveling souls have decided to stay, lingering to see the ending result out of curiosity.

“Have you eaten anything from this domain?”

Donghyuck nods, remembering the pomegranate Mark didn’t want him to eat. Out of spite, he indulged in a couple of seeds.

“Then I’ve found a solution to all of our problems and one I think that will make all of us happy.” Boa sends her son a sad grin. “You can spend half the year with Mark, and half the year up with me so that spring can still come.”

She opens her arms so that she can hold her son once last time until the snow defrosts to allow spring to return.

“Just promise me to write me when you have time, and you,” Boa turns back to Mark. “Please take care of my son. He’s the most precious person to me and someone deserving of being loved.”

Mark smiles. “I will.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Did you sleep well?” Mark asks, his voice doesn’t come out as strong he wants it too. 

He wishes his tone was more certain, more strong, strong enough to protect the sun-kissed boy on his shoulder. And it’s stupid for him to be so scared, scared that someone could rip Donghyuck away earlier than the quiet spring that comes before a stormy summer.

They’re sitting against the willow tree Donghyuck planted, the light of the traveling souls illuminating everything, yet still unsure of whether or not to wake the sleeping gods from their afternoon nap. 

Maybe it’s because Mark did feel alone all these years living in the underworld that he doesn’t want the feeling to return. He doesn’t want to be like the willow tree that was no longer loved, all leafless because no one cared for it anymore, preferring the new plants people have brought from distant lands Mark would never have the chance of seeing; nonetheless, ever dream of seeing. He just doesn’t want Donghyuck to leave him too, and he knows that’s selfish of him. 

So incredibly selfish knowing that Donghyuck chose to give up half his eternity to be here, away from the sun he loved so much. 

But before Mark can wallow more, Donghyuck’s eyes flutter open, and breaks into the softest smile Mark has ever seen. 

“I did.”

Donghyuck’s answer can soften the crashing waves that keep encroaching onto Mark’s heart, a silent whisper that reaffirms that Mark is loved.

“You need to remember what I’ve told you so many times.”

Mark’s chest tightens, but it loosens with him remembering every letter that he’s been given the first year. When Donghyuck had returned to live with his mother, there was a part of him that feared he wouldn’t return. Mark wondered if Donghyuck regretted his decision and betrayed the trust Mark had given him.

But he came back. Every half-year, Donghyuck always came back.

“You need to start reading my letters again.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

> My darling,
> 
> How are you today? I hope that you don’t miss me too much—although it’s only been a couple of weeks since I’ve returned to living with my mother. With the change of seasons coming more quickly each passing year, I think that I will be coming back to you sooner than we both anticipated. 
> 
> I still think that humans do not need me as much as you say, with the developing even more tools than before. I believe they call one a watermill, and they’ve been using it to create paper and other goods that involve lumber. 
> 
> I did save a drowning child. Their name reminded me of a soul you once claimed was your favorite and the thought of them coming back to you too early made me sad. They’ve told me a lot of things they’ve come to love about the world, how they love dancing and the way they make people happy through each performance. 
> 
> That was the first time I’ve faltered in my thought that I’m no longer needed. Perhaps I should make the earth a much more hospitable place so that humans don’t forget me? I think I might come to like that idea.
> 
> But enough about me. Please tell me how are you. I miss the sound of your voice too much. I can’t wait to come back and gift you all the flowers in the world. Even if it means leaving humans without any to gift their loved ones, I’m selfish.
> 
> I only want to see you happy and only ever you from now on.
> 
> Yours,
> 
> Donghyuck

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos if you liked this fic 🥺.
> 
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> [twitter](https://twitter.com/_ourloveispink)  
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